Betrayal trauma counselling for women affected by infidelity, sex addiction or porn use in their relationship
Welcome to Beyond Betrayal Counselling
Have you discovered your partner has been hiding a secret sexual life? Maybe you've asked questions and get denial, more lies and manipulation, not to mention gaslighting!?
You could have found evidence of visits to sex workers, massage parlours or strip clubs. Perhaps hooking up with people from dating apps or websites. Or watching porn and masturbating in secret. There could be an emotional connection to someone else, like a “work wife” or Only Fans messages and payments.
If your intuition is telling you something isn’t right, and you’re questioning whether his behaviour could be sex addiction, porn addiction, an affair, or some other sexual infidelity, you’ve landed in the right place!
The Pain of Betrayal is Real and it Hurts
You are never prepared for the shock of discovering your partner’s secret sexual life. Whether it’s cheating, compulsive porn use, years of deception and manipulating your reality, the impact on your nervous system is catastrophic. Your heart pounds; your stomach churns, you are crying one minute then VERY angry the next, your mind will not stop with questions……. The years you have spent together and the future you had planned, nothing feels real anymore!
You May be Asking Yourself
Is my partner addicted to porn or sex? Why didn’t I see the signs earlier? How do I recover? Is healing even possible? How could he do this to me? Why did I believe him?
Confusion, grief, anger, anxiety, and shame and wanting to hide from everyone are all common.
But this is not where your story ends.
Staying or Leaving doesn't heal the wound
Many women I support are still in their relationship, trying to make sense of what’s happened. Others have left, but the pain and impact of betrayal remains. You may be struggling to sleep, eat, or function, yet still trying to hold it together for work or children. Or you might be doing all the “right” things but still feel lost. You may even have seen other counsellors who just didn’t seem to understand betrayal trauma and what you are going through
You Deserve Support too From Someone Who Understands
My name is Madonna Keightley, and I’m an APSATS certified betrayal trauma counsellor. I bring both academic qualifications and lived experience to my practice. I support clients all over Australia and internationally via Zoom. I also offer in person appointments in Malvern, Melbourne.
You don't have to work out what to do yourself
If you’re feeling anxious, tired, sad, have recurring thoughts that just won’t go away, and you’re not sure how to move forward, please reach out.
I offer safe, compassionate counselling and can also provide information on where your partner can find help, as well as tools to help you get through the day and ways to help overcome triggers.
We can work together to find “you” again.
Where to from here
With the right support, what feels confusing and overwhelming now can begin to feel clearer. You can move from reacting to responding, from second-guessing yourself to trusting yourself again. Those thoughts of what he did will finally settle.
I invite you to send me an email to enquire about counselling, or to arrange a free 10 minute phone chat to see how I can support you.
Coping with Betrayal: Making Sense of the Shock, Pain and Confusion
When Everything You Believed Has Not Been Real
When you discover betrayal, it feels like the relationship you thought you were in didn’t exist. You wonder, “Who is this person I am with?”
The journey to recovery after betrayal is one of the toughest challenges a woman can face. The lies, manipulation, gaslighting, shattered trust, defensiveness, blame and minimisation are devastating.
You feel so alone, ashamed, confused, and unsure what to do next. And perhaps you’re even asking:“Should I stay in this relationship because I didn’t consent to this version of it!”
Can Your Relationship Work After Betrayal?
Time has passed since that heartbreaking moment of discovery. The initial shock may have shifted to constant sadness, your mind keeps repeating the information you discovered, your grief is mixed with anger, you are exhausted and desperately searching for clarity.
You’re not ready to give up on your relationship yet, but you’re unsure what to believe. You’re trying to piece together a life that feels more honest, more authentic, and you’re asking the difficult questions about what’s really possible.
Reclaiming Who You Are
Maybe you’ve chosen to stay. Maybe you’ve left. Either way, it’s not the life you thought you signed up for.
Beneath the weight of betrayal, separation, or divorce, you’re now asking: “Who am I without the lies? Who am I, now that I know the truth? Do I know how to make good decisions anymore?”
Rediscovering your identity, rebuilding your self-worth, and restoring your trust, especially in yourself, takes time. The years you spent trying to hold things together in a dysfunctional relationship have left their mark. Your self-worth feels fragile, but it is not gone.
DISCOVERING BETRAYAL CAN FEEL VERY LONELY
If you’ve discovered betrayal, no matter where you are on your journey, support is available. I offer betrayal trauma counselling for women across Australia, New Zealand and internationally, both online or in person in Melbourne (Malvern).
Whether you’re just trying to survive after discovery, or struggling with decisions about what to do in regards to your relationship, you deserve a safe space to feel seen, validated and supported.
About Me
My name is Madonna Keightley, and I am an APSATS-certified betrayal trauma counsellor supporting women who have discovered their partner has been unfaithful, is having or has had an affair, or is struggling with porn or sex addiction and other hidden sexual behaviours.
I work exclusively with women navigating betrayal trauma, which means this is not just part of my work, it is my entire focus.
I bring both specialised training and lived understanding of the emotional, psychological, and relational impact that betrayal has on a woman’s sense of safety, trust, and self-worth.
My Qualifications
Bachelor of Counselling, Vision College, Christchurch NZ
APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist
Deceptive Sexuality & Trauma Therapist (Minwalla Model)
SASA Full Therapeutic Disclosure
PACFA Reg Certified Practicing No. 30981
Cert IV Training & Assessment
Wife (yes, still together), Mother of three children and two cats
A Counsellor Who Understands Betrayal
My focus as a counsellor has always been on supporting women. After graduating, I intended to specialise in private practice, and it was around this time that I discovered my husband’s sex addiction.
The devastation of what I’d discovered, followed by unbearable pain and confusion, combined with disbelief had me wondering how I was going to survive! This chaos, followed by sessions with counsellors who could not relate to what I was going through, led me to become a Certified Partner Specialist through the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) in the USA.
My Approach to Supporting Betrayed Women
Just like many other betrayed women after discovery, I didn’t know who to turn to for help. I knew my husband needed to see a professional to deal with his childhood trauma and sex addiction, but I didn’t realise that I was suffering from betrayal trauma.
After a lot of searching online, I found an APSATS counsellor who had also experienced betrayal. For me, having a counsellor with similar experiences was very important. I needed someone with lived experience to validate my feelings and who also knew just how much betrayal hurt. No one gets it like someone who’s been through it. There’s no need to justify crazy thoughts or explain the overwhelming feelings of anger one minute, then fear the next, the pushing him away then wanting him to be there, and the deep despair. As a counsellor with similar experiences, I have been where you are now, or very close to it.
I help women like yourself who feel so lost, scared and alone, to survive the turmoil of discovery. I am there for guidance and support as you piece your life back together and thrive in your new knowledge and awareness of yourself. No woman ever asks for this, but you can “turn lemons into lemonade” and gain so much from the healing process to find a new version of yourself again!
Ready to take the next step?
Counselling betrayed women is not one area of my work; it is my entire focus. This specialisation allows me to offer informed, trauma-aware support, grounded in both professional training and personal understanding. I know how hard it is to speak about your partner’s cheating, affairs, porn use, sex addiction, fetishes or any other secret sexual behaviour. It’s very shameful and you don’t want to tell anyone for fear of judgement. You can even blame yourself for not acting on your intuition and feel you are not good enough.
What brings meaning to my work is seeing the amazing change that occurs when a vulnerable, sad and lost betrayed woman transforms into an empowered, authentic woman who knows she will be OK no matter what happens to her relationship.
A recent client testimonial:
“Over the years I’ve had many therapy sessions (all kinds, really) and I’ve tried a lot of different approaches. But I’m realising that when it comes to these deep wounds, nothing quite brings them to the surface or allows us to work through them like the relationships we find ourselves in.
The past 24 hours could have followed the same path; this time it was me choosing to sit in my discomfort long enough to give my husband space to process a serious event and use his new skills. He’s proving to be a quick learner when he’s in the right headspace. He’s been calm, empathetic, and genuinely present, especially when I’ve needed to talk.”
As Brene Brown says, “We don’t have to do it all alone, we were never meant to”.
If you are seeking a counsellor who really understands the complex layers of betrayal; the “how could he do this” and “I feel as though I’ve wasted the best of years of my life with him” and “I am so angry at myself for believing him”, or “who does he need to see for help”?
I’m here, ready to guide and support you and help you thrive!
Counselling Services
Individual Counselling
Counselling allows you to share your burden and lighten your load. Even on days when you feel tired, lost, and overwhelmed, and don't know how you're going to survive, I'm here to support you through your tears, anger, and grief.
As a counsellor, I am committed to creating a safe, confidential and supportive environment to help you restore safety and take back control of your life.
I work from a person-centred approach, and you are in control of what we discuss during our sessions.
Together, we can find the tools and develop a plan that will move you towards healing and a sense of hope and future.
Email me to enquire.
Full Therapeutic Disclosure
FTD offers a strong foundation for healing, whether you’re working to rebuild trust or seeking clarity as your relationship may be ending.
FTD helps you piece together the parts of your life that didn't add up, empowering you with the understanding necessary to heal and make informed decisions about your life..
Full Therapeutic Disclosure is complex process and best guided by a professional trained in supporting you through this journey.
With expertise in assessing your needs, I can help you navigate this process on your own terms.
Email me to enquire.
Retreats
In the context of betrayal trauma, a retreat is a structured, therapeutic experience that offers a safe, immersive environment away from the demands and distractions of everyday life.
It’s a space where women can begin to process the trauma of betrayal, with professional guidance, deep attunement, and peer support.
Unlike a holiday, a retreat in this setting is designed to create conditions that support emotional safety, nervous system regulation, and deep healing work.
Next Retreat is 7-9th August 2026 at Amarant, Yarra Valley in Victoria.
Click the icon above for details.
What is the difference between an APSATS counsellor and other counsellors?
The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists – APSATS is the only institute in the world to train partner-sensitive counsellors and coaches that understand the depths of your pain, emotional swings, trauma and betrayal. You will receive psychoeducation, therapeutic support and tools to help you through this life changing turmoil. APSATS counsellors follow the MPTM (Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model) which is based on research that shows that the betrayed partner has experienced great trauma as a result of the discovery, and this treatment model addresses your trauma. Working with a certified APSATS counsellor, especially one that has been where you are now, assures you will get the validation and support you need.
Health Fund Rebates
Members of these funds may be eligible for rebates for counselling. (Please check with your health insurance provider)
Beyond Betrayal cannot provide services through the Government-sponsored Mental Health Care Plan. The counselling fees charged by Beyond Betrayal are usually less than the gap payment for most psychological therapies after the Medicare rebate has been paid. Also, there are no APSATS-trained psychologists in Australia.
Fees
Telephone chat (10 minutes): $0
Initial Counselling/Intake Session (60 minutes): $235.00
Ongoing Counselling Sessions (50 minutes): $190.00
How long will I see you for?
Most clients benefit from therapy for some months, as the healing process after betrayal can take time. Weekly therapy is recommended for at least the first 6 weeks.
How do I pay?
Payment will be processed from your nominated card after each session. To confirm your initial booking, card details must be entered on the intake form prior to our first session. Your information is securely stored within the Stripe payment system, which meets strict industry standards for data protection.
What is your cancellation policy?
I request 24 hours notice from the counselling appointment start time for cancellation, otherwise you may be charged the full fee.
Blog Posts
Sex and Porn Addiction Help
After sexual betrayal, many couples are guided toward relationship therapy or non-specialised addiction counselling. This blog explains why sex and porn addiction require specialised treatment
Romance Scams and Betrayal Trauma
Betrayal becomes traumatic when deception erodes safety and trust. This blog explains the psychological impact of discovering a partner’s secret sexual life and why your
Why You Can’t Stop Asking Questions
Betrayal becomes traumatic when deception erodes safety and trust. This blog explains the psychological impact of discovering a partner’s secret sexual life and why your
When Betrayal Becomes Trauma
Betrayal becomes traumatic when deception erodes safety and trust. This blog explains the psychological impact of discovering a partner’s secret sexual life and why your
The Deceptions Hurts More than the Betrayal
What if the betrayal you experienced wasn’t just about sex, but about control? This article introduces Integrity Abuse Disorder, a powerful framework for understanding how
The Hidden Shame of Betrayal Trauma
Shame after significant betrayal often has little to do with personal failure and everything to do with trauma. This blog explores how attachment shame and
How to Cope with Betrayal Trauma Triggers
This blog explores practical coping skills for women betrayed by sexual or relational secrets. If you’re wrestling with overwhelming shame, fear, or flashbacks, you’re not
Boundaries and why we need them
Boundaries are important for healthy relationships. They help us know where our responsibilities end and others begin, giving us the freedom to voice our needs.
You Didn’t Cause This: Healing After Betrayal
Betrayal trauma isn’t your fault and you can’t fix what your partner won’t take responsibility for. Learn how to begin healing, set boundaries, and stop
Send me a message
- 0418 583 240
- counselling@beyondbetrayal.com.au
- Melbourne, Australia