Healing and thriving after discovering sexual betrayal, porn or sex addiction in your relationship

Welcome to Beyond Betrayal

Have you discovered your partner has been unfaithful or deceptive? Maybe he’s been visiting sex workers, massage parlours, strip clubs, or meeting women for sex through dating apps, or even has a “work wife”! Perhaps he secretly watches porn and masturbates when you’re not around. Is your intuition telling you something isn’t right – that he’s hiding the truth?

If you’re struggling with betrayal and wondering whether your partner’s behaviors are due to sex or porn addiction, you’re not alone. I am a counsellor for women who have experienced betrayal by their husband or partner.

You’re never prepared for the pain of discovering that the person you love has lied and deceived you. Whether it’s cheating, an affair, sex addiction, porn addiction, or other secret sexual behaviors, the shock is overwhelming. Your heart pounds, your stomach churns, and yet a part of you hopes that what you’ve seen or heard isn’t real. In an instant, your whole world is turned upside down.

You don’t know where to turn or what to do. Simple things like eating, sleeping, and functioning feel impossible, but life demands that you keep going, for family, work, or sheer survival. Your mind races, desperately trying to piece everything together, and your anxiety is out of control.

Or maybe you’ve already left the relationship, yet the struggle remains. You’re working to rebuild your life, searching for a way forward, but some days, the weight of it all feels like a burden you may never escape.

If you’re feeling this pain, know that you are not alone. You can get through this, and you deserve to heal.

My name is Madonna, and I know how painful this journey can be. You’re not alone. I’m here to help you move through the pain, find clarity, and feel strong again. I offer compassionate counselling for women facing betrayal, helping them heal, rebuild and take back their lives. I can support you online across Australia and New Zealand or in person at St Kilda or Altona, Melbourne. If you need support and guidance, please reach out – I have been where you are now.

FROM DISCOVERY TO SURVIVAL AND THRIVING

Early days after discovery

When you discover you’ve been betrayed, it feels like the relationship you thought you had never existed. You wonder who this person is who says he loves you? The journey to recovery from betrayal can be one of your toughest challenges. The list goes on: lies, manipulation, gaslighting, shattered trust, defensiveness, minimisation. You can feel very alone and ashamed. You’re confused about what to do. It’s hard to make sense of it all. You also wonder if you should end the relationship because you did not consent to this!

Can You Make The Relationship Work?

Time has passed since that gut-wrenching moment when you discovered your partner’s secret sexual life. The initial shock of discovery has become a painful ache in your chest, and you’re feeling anger and grief. But you’re not ready to give up on this relationship yet. You think you want to make this work. You’re trying to piece together a life that feels authentic.

Rediscovering yourself – a new chapter begins...

Maybe you’ve decided to work on the relationship. Or perhaps you’ve walked away, feeling the weight of divorce and single parenthood on your shoulders. Either way, it’s not what you signed up for. Beneath the layers of hurt, you want to rediscover who you really are. Who are you when the foundation of your reality has crumbled? The years spent trying to make things work without knowing the truth have left their mark. Your self-worth feels very fragile, as does your ability to trust.

Counselling Services

Individual Counselling

Counselling allows you to share your burden and lighten your load. Even on days when you feel tired, lost, and overwhelmed and don't know how you're going to survive, I'm here to support you through your tears, anger, and grief.

As a counsellor, I am committed to creating a safe, confidential and supportive environment to help you restore safety and take back control of your life.

I work from a person-centred approach, which means you are in control of what we discuss during our sessions. Together, we can find the tools and develop a plan that will move you towards healing and a sense of hope and future.

Full Therapeutic Disclosure

FTD offers a strong foundation for healing, whether you’re working to rebuild trust or seeking clarity as your relationship may be ending. FTD helps you understand what has happened, empowering you with the understanding necessary to heal, regardless of the outcome.
Full Therapeutic Disclosure is complex and best guided by a professional trained in supporting partners through this journey. With expertise in assessing your needs, I can help you make informed decisions and navigate this process on your own terms. Email me to enquire.

Support Groups

Healing within a small group of women with similar experiences can be powerful and transformative.

Imagine being in a supportive and understanding environment where you can share your story (only if you feel ready) and ask questions to gain valuable insights from others who have walked a similar path.

Group therapy can also be an option for those with financial constraints.

Online group therapy sessions will begin in 2025 - send me an email to enquire.

About Me

I’m Madonna, a counsellor for women who have discovered their partner has been cheating, is having an affair or has had an affair, maybe is a porn or sex addict or you’ve found other secret sexual behaviours.

How did I come to specialise in betrayal trauma counselling for women?

From the beginning of my counselling career, I focused on counselling and supporting women. After graduating, I wanted a specialised niche for my private practice, and the universe provided me with one – I discovered my husband’s sex addiction. This led me to become a Certified Clinical Betrayal Trauma Specialist, training through APSATS (The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists) in America.

Just like many other betrayed women upon discovery, I felt deep pain, so alone and scared. I didn’t know who to turn to for help, and I’d never heard of betrayal trauma. I ensured my husband was getting help, but didn’t realise that help was available for betrayed wives as well. I eventually found an APSATS counsellor who had also experienced betrayal and specialised in betrayal trauma. Finding a counsellor with similar experiences was important, as I needed someone to validate my feelings and understand my hurt. No one gets it like someone who’s been through it! There’s no need to justify crazy thoughts or explain the overwhelming feelings of despair, because a counsellor with similar experiences will understand and has been where you are now. Or very close to it.

Counselling betrayed women is my specialty. I know how hard it is to speak about your partner’s cheating, affairs, pornography, or sex addiction. You feel so much shame and don’t want to tell anyone. You can even blame yourself, and it makes you feel so worthless.

What brings meaning to my work is witnessing the change that occurs when a vulnerable, betrayed woman trusts the process and works to discover her authentic self. Together we work to help you grieve, process, heal and thrive! As Brene Brown says, “We don’t have to do it all alone, we were never meant to”.

QUALIFICATIONS:

Bachelor of Counselling
APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist
SASA Full Therapeutic Disclosure
Aust Counselling Association Member No: 25651
PACFA Reg Certified Practicing No. 30981
Cert IV Training & Assessment

FAQ

What is the difference between an APSATS counsellor and other counsellors?

The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists – APSATS is the only institute in the world to train partner-sensitive counsellors and coaches that understand the depths of your pain, emotional swings, trauma and betrayal. They provide you with psychoeducation, therapeutic support and coaching to get you through this very difficult time. APSATS counsellors follow the MPTM (Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model) which is based on research that shows that the betrayed partner has experienced great trauma as a result of the trauma of discovery. This treatment model addresses this trauma. Working with a certified APSATS counsellor assures the betrayed partner will get guidance regarding her current safety and assistance with her mental health needs.

Health Fund Rebates

Members of these funds may be eligible for rebates for counselling. (Please check with your health insurance provider)

Beyond Betrayal cannot provide services through the Government-sponsored Mental Health Care Plan. The counselling fees charged by Beyond Betrayal are usually less than the gap payment for most psychological therapies after the Medicare rebate has been paid. Also, there are no APSATS-trained psychologists in Australia.

Fees

Telephone chat (10 minutes): $0

Initial assessment (allow up to 1hr 15 mins): $197.00

Weekly sessions (1 hr): $165.00

Concessional rate (1hr): I understand that financial concerns can make it difficult for women to seek support. I offer up to six sessions at a discounted rate for women experiencing financial hardship. Please email me to discuss.

Full therapeutic Disclosure packages – email me for details

How long will I see you for?

Most clients benefit from therapy for some months, as the healing process after betrayal can take time. Weekly therapy is recommended for at least the first 6 weeks.

How do I pay?

Payment is to be made by bank transfer. An invoice will be sent after your counselling appointment and payment to be made on receipt of the invoice.

What is your cancellation policy?

I request 24 hours notice from the counselling appointment start time for cancellation, otherwise you may be charged the full fee.

Healing and thriving after discovering sexual betrayal, porn or sex addiction in your relationship

Welcome to Beyond Betrayal