Betrayal trauma counselling for women affected by infidelity, sex addiction or porn use in their relationship
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Welcome to Beyond Betrayal
Have You Discovered Your Partner’s Betrayal or Secret Sexual Behaviour?
Have you recently found out that your partner has been unfaithful or deceptive?
Maybe he’s been:
- Seeing sex workers or visiting massage parlours
- Going to strip clubs or meeting women on dating apps
- Secretly watching porn and masturbating when you’re not around
- Emotionally connected to someone else, like a “work wife”
If your gut is telling you something isn’t right, and you’re questioning whether your partner’s behaviours point to sex addiction, porn addiction, or infidelity, you are not alone.
The Pain of Betrayal is Real
You’re never prepared for the shock of discovering your partner’s secret life. Whether it’s cheating, compulsive porn use, or years of lies, the impact on your nervous system is overwhelming.
- Your heart pounds
- Your stomach churns
- You are crying one minute and so VERY angry the next
- Your mind will not stop with questions
And yet, a part of you hopes what you’ve just discovered is not real!
Everything you believed about your life, your relationship, and your future can feel like it’s just gone bang and never existed.
You May Be Asking Yourself
Is my partner addicted to porn or sex?
- Why didn’t I see the signs earlier?
- How do I recover from betrayal trauma?
- Is healing even possible?
You’re not alone in these questions. The confusion, grief, anger, anxiety, and shame are all common. But they are not where your story ends.
Whether You’ve Stayed or Left, the Trauma Remains
Some women I support are still in the relationship, trying to make sense of what’s happened. Others have left, but the pain and impact linger.
You may be struggling to sleep, eat, or function, yet still trying to hold it together for work or your children. Or you might be doing all the “right” things but still feel lost. You may even have seen other counsellors who just didn’t “get it”!
You Deserve Support From Someone Who Understands
My name is Madonna Keightley, and I’m an APSATS-certified betrayal trauma counsellor. I’ve walked this road myself, and I bring both professional training and lived experience to the women I work with. I support clients across Australia and New Zealand through online counselling, and also see clients in person in Melbourne (St Kilda and Altona).
You Don’t Have to Face Betrayal Alone
If you’re feeling anxious, broken, or unsure how to move forward, please reach out. I offer safe, compassionate counselling for betrayed women, whether you’re trying to make a decision about your relationship, process discovery day, or rebuild your life after leaving.
Book a free 10 minute consultation to see how I can support you, or
Learn more about my betrayal trauma counselling services or send me an email enquiry below.
Coping with Betrayal: Making Sense of the Shock, Pain and Confusion
When Everything You Believed Has Been A Lie
When you discover you’ve been betrayed, it feels like the relationship you thought you were in, never existed. You wonder, Who is this person who says he loves me?
The journey to recovery after betrayal is one of the toughest challenges a woman can face. The lies, manipulation, gaslighting, shattered trust, defensiveness, and minimisation are devastating.
You may feel so alone, ashamed, confused, and unsure what to do next. And perhaps you’re even asking, Should I stay in this relationship? I didn’t consent to this version of it.
Can You Make Your Relationship Work After Betrayal?
Time has passed since that gut-wrenching moment of discovery. The initial shock may have shifted into a dull ache in your chest; grief mixed with anger, exhaustion, and a need for clarity.
You’re not ready to give up on your relationship yet, but you’re unsure what’s real. You’re trying to piece together a life that feels more honest, more authentic, and you’re asking the hard questions about what’s really possible.
A New Chapter Begins: Reclaiming Who You Are
Maybe you’ve chosen to stay. Maybe you’ve left. Either way, it’s not the life you thought you signed up for.
Beneath the weight of betrayal, separation, or divorce, you’re now asking: Who am I without the lies? Who am I now, that the truth is out?
Rediscovering your identity, rebuilding your self-worth, and restoring your trust, especially in yourself, takes time. The years you spent trying to hold things together in your dysfunctional relationship have left their mark. Your self-worth feels fragile, but it is not gone.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If you’re in the early days after discovering betrayal, know that support is available. I offer betrayal trauma counselling for women across Australia and New Zealand, both online and in person (St Kilda & Altona, Melbourne).
Whether you’re just beginning to process discovery or wrestling with decisions about your relationship, you deserve a space to feel seen and supported.
About Madonna Keightley - Betrayal Trauma Counsellor, Australia
Helping Women Heal from Betrayal, Affairs and Porn and Sex Addiction
I’m a counsellor for women who have discovered their partner has been cheating, is having/or had an affair, maybe is a porn or sex addict, or you’ve found some other secret sexual behaviours.
A Counsellor Who Understands Betrayal
From the beginning of my counselling career, I focused on counselling and supporting women. After graduating, I planned to specialise in private practice, and it was at this time that I discovered my husband’s sex addiction. The devastation of my own discovery, followed by unimaginable pain, confusion, and utter despair left me not knowing how I was going to survive, where to turn, or what to do next. That experience became the turning point in my decision to train as an APSATS Certified Partner Specialist through the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists in the US. I now help other women who, like I once did, feel so lost, ashamed and alone after the discovery of betrayal, unsure how, or if it’s possible to piece their life back together.
My Approach to Supporting Betrayed Women
Just like many other betrayed women upon discovery, I felt deep pain, scared and so embarrassed that I had married a sex addict! I didn’t know who to turn to for help and I’d never heard of betrayal trauma. I knew my husband definitely needed help to overcome his sex addiction and didn’t realise that counselling for betrayed wives was available as well. I googled and found counsellors advertising they could help, but after being asked what I did to cause my husband to do this and similar, I knew these therapists didn’t understand my whole world was falling apart through no fault of my own! I eventually found an APSATS counsellor who had also experienced betrayal and specialised in betrayal trauma. Finding a counsellor with similar experiences was important, as I needed someone to validate my feelings and understand my hurt. No one gets it like someone who’s been through it! There’s no need to justify crazy thoughts or explain the overwhelming feelings of despair, because a counsellor with similar experiences will understand and has been where you are now. Or very close to it.
My Qualifications and Professional Training
Counselling betrayed women is my specialty. I know how hard it is to speak about your partner’s cheating, affairs, porn or sex addiction. You feel so much shame and don’t want to tell anyone. You can even blame yourself, and it makes you feel so worthless.
What brings meaning to my work is witnessing the change that occurs when a vulnerable, betrayed woman trusts the process and works to discover her authentic self. Together we work to help you grieve, process, heal and thrive! As Brene Brown says, “We don’t have to do it all alone, we were never meant to”.
Bachelor of Counselling
APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist
SASA Full Therapeutic Disclosure
Aust Counselling Association Member No: 25651
PACFA Reg Certified Practicing No. 30981
Cert IV Training & Assessment
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you’re looking for a counsellor who really understands the trauma of betrayal; the “how could he do this” and “I feel as though I’ve wasted the best of years of my life with him” and “I am so angry for believing his lies”, I’d be honoured to support you.
Counselling Services
Individual Counselling
Counselling allows you to share your burden and lighten your load. Even on days when you feel tired, lost, and overwhelmed and don't know how you're going to survive, I'm here to support you through your tears, anger, and grief.
As a counsellor, I am committed to creating a safe, confidential and supportive environment to help you restore safety and take back control of your life.
I work from a person-centred approach, which means you are in control of what we discuss during our sessions. Together, we can find the tools and develop a plan that will move you towards healing and a sense of hope and future.
Full Therapeutic Disclosure
FTD offers a strong foundation for healing, whether you’re working to rebuild trust or seeking clarity as your relationship may be ending.
FTD helps you understand what has happened, empowering you with the understanding necessary to heal, regardless of the outcome.
Full Therapeutic Disclosure is complex and best guided by a professional trained in supporting partners through this journey. With expertise in assessing your needs, I can help you make informed decisions and navigate this process on your own terms.
Email me to enquire.
Support Groups and Retreats
Healing within a group of women with similar experiences can be powerful and transformative.
Imagine being in a supportive and understanding environment where you can share your story (only if you feel ready) and ask questions to gain valuable insights from others who have walked a similar path.
Group therapy can also be an option for those with financial constraints.
Send me an email to enquire.
What is the difference between an APSATS counsellor and other counsellors?
The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists – APSATS is the only institute in the world to train partner-sensitive counsellors and coaches that understand the depths of your pain, emotional swings, trauma and betrayal. They provide you with psychoeducation, therapeutic support and coaching to get you through this very difficult time. APSATS counsellors follow the MPTM (Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model) which is based on research that shows that the betrayed partner has experienced great trauma as a result of the trauma of discovery. This treatment model addresses this trauma. Working with a certified APSATS counsellor assures the betrayed partner will get guidance regarding her current safety and assistance with her mental health needs.
Health Fund Rebates
Members of these funds may be eligible for rebates for counselling. (Please check with your health insurance provider)
Beyond Betrayal cannot provide services through the Government-sponsored Mental Health Care Plan. The counselling fees charged by Beyond Betrayal are usually less than the gap payment for most psychological therapies after the Medicare rebate has been paid. Also, there are no APSATS-trained psychologists in Australia.
Fees
Telephone chat (10 minutes): $0
Initial assessment (allow up to 1hr 15 mins): $197.00
Counselling sessions (1 hr): $165.00
Full therapeutic Disclosure packages – email me for details
How long will I see you for?
Most clients benefit from therapy for some months, as the healing process after betrayal can take time. Weekly therapy is recommended for at least the first 6 weeks.
How do I pay?
Payment is to be made by bank transfer or stripe (link provided). An invoice will be sent after your counselling appointment, and it would be appreciated it you could pay asap as I am a small business.
What is your cancellation policy?
I request 24 hours notice from the counselling appointment start time for cancellation, otherwise you may be charged the full fee.
Blog Posts
Shame after betrayal is real.
Feeling shame for staying and for still loving someone who caused you so much pain.
Why your partner should see a CSAT
The difference between a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and other therapists.
Coping skills for betrayal trauma triggers
Simple steps you can take to cope with betrayal trauma triggers.
Boundaries and why we need them
Boundaries are important for healthy relationships. They help us know where our responsibilities end and others begin, giving us the freedom to voice our needs.
Have you just discovered sexual betrayal?
You did NOT ask to join this club! It was NOT your fault and nothing you did caused him to act out.
What is Betrayal Trauma?
How do I know if I am suffering from betrayal trauma? What are the signs?
Get in Touch
- 0418 583 240
- counselling@beyondbetrayal.com.au
- Melbourne, Australia